Entry Three: A Word for It

diary

These past two days of dancing has worn me out. My knees ache so badly. 

Imagine your knee is a thin glass bowl suspended in the air. Place a dense rock softly but heavily in the bowl. The weight of the rock would crack across that thin glass. That is how my knees feel, a soft pressure that slowly creeps on. My knees ache under the pressure of my body, and so I went and soaked. πŸ›

I ran a bath and tossed in four handfuls of Epsom salt; one, two, three, and four. The salt beaded and caressed over my hands, tempting me to toss more than I needed. The water filled and filled, menthol steaming into the air. The heat billowed to fog the mirror and windows and BigπŸ—Bear🌡🌟 came in and quietly took off his clothes.

“I’m only going to put my feet in,” he said smiling as he stepped in. I washed my body onto his legs, calm and collected, his idea was fine with me. My breasts bobbed in the water, gliding as he turned off the faucet, then he looked at me to smile.

 “I’m getting in with you.” He grinned, happy to change his mind. I loved the idea and was ecstatic to see that soon I would live a fantasy. πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ Let me tell you about the music, oh the music makes the story.  I turned on the 50+ mix of songs by Alina Baraz.

The water rippled as he sank into the deep tub, our exhaustion and angst was soothed by the warmth of the water. He sat to my left, his arm around my shoulder and comfortably I closed my eyes. The tempo was so slow, como a heartbeat, and I relaxed into his brace and breathed with the music. Every muscle of my body lettingh go, releasing my bones from their grip and I drifted to a state of sleep. He slowly ran his fingers on my breasts, stomach, and thighs, keeping me anchored between torpor and bliss.

As the songs followed one another his touch awoke my desire. I rolled on top of him to move my hips in circles with the music. Slowly and gracefully I flowed through the water to the sweetness of the words in her song:

🎢 All that you are

is all that I need

Your eyes are like the smoke

you linger on me🎢

I looked at his submerged skin and the floating hair on his chest. I rocked my hips and felt him aroused as I slowly danced before letting him inside. The way he looked at me…. Wow… What an expression.

I have always compared him to characters and personalities I’ve categorized from people I’ve met or seen in movies. He is so different to me, foreign really, I suppose I need to relate him to something I know to understand how he ticks. I long to trust who he is and his thoughts, responses and spirit. 🐾🐾

The more time that accumulates, the better this is, a trust, a soft bed that gradually becomes softer and softer as we sink in. Now, we’re enveloped, I’m in his bear arms as he caresses and touches his lips upon my skin.πŸ‘„πŸ‘„πŸ‘„ This is where time stretched for miles… πŸ•šπŸ•¦πŸ•›πŸŒ“πŸŒ’πŸŒ‘πŸŒšπŸŒšπŸŒšπŸŒš

I waited to be disappointed by the playlist, something surely alas would ruin our utopia! But nothing did… One song after another, I was neither rushed nor disappointed but desired for more. He continually longed to feel himself inside of me and the rhythm aided us while we passionately made love. Our deepest secrets spilled over the edges, no longer contained. He told me how he desired to come inside me making me tighten lustfully as an animal. Our thoughts twisted and morphed by our intimacy, behold we are simple creatures.

I remember finding myself gaping in pleasure. My thoughts floating through my mind like a drifting cloud. The wet strands of my curls dripped and dangled in my face as I caught myself lured by passion to confess how I loved him, but insecurity stayed me silent. 

His muscles flexed while his face remained ever so focused. His amber eyes piercing into me. I waited for the moment where our sight is broken and we would laugh, but he didn’t smile, nor did he frown.

He pushed in the water, the buoyancy floating him up to render me speechless. And it continued… and so I cannot think of what else to say except that my feelings for BigπŸ—Bear🌡🌟 are irrevocable.

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