Entry Eight Part II: A Monday in 5 Years

I’m so nervous!!!! What do I do to rid myself of this feeling? This emotion? I’m in math…. I can’t concentrate on math! But yes you can!

Stop worrying…. You think too much. Piensas demasiado. Todo estara bien. Tú estás bien. No te preocupes Sirena.😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

This may or may not be the moment of truth today; a dinner date on his side of town.  How terribly simple. I am anxiously accumulating the memories I can remember with 🐗Big🌵Bear🌟. Frightened to realize how few there are, I want to add more to the jar, the fear spurred from a lack of time. I am terrified of everything slipping away:

My bare feet imprinting the red baby powder dirt of the ranch up north, his chilling gaze demonstrating the seriousness of gun safety, the excitement that coincides with bringing my dopey dog to his house.

Handing him my flannel to dry his face, his embrace and skin pressed against my back as we sleep, his repeated realization that he could “lose some days with you darling”.

Everything that has come to pass is threatened by not knowing who you are together. You need to know. The only thing you need to remember is to value yourself. You’re a wonderful woman. Someone one day, whether it’s this Monday or a Monday in 5 years, will recognize your worth and do nothing but make sure you’re theirs. You can always find that happiness. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Not yet. Wait until you’ve laid down your head tonight to rest. The expression on your face this evening will be a truth teller.

Relajarse baby. You’re Rina P. Only the best can have you. This is his tryout. This is his final review by the board. 👊🏼

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