Entry Ten: Recognition of Emotion

That man in there.

 

 

He is bonded to me. That’s something really genuine I have never felt before. I can feel that innocence, he is always so loving to me.

I’m sitting on my couch “getting some water” (writing) and he is asleep in my bedroom. We didn’t share intimacy tonight besides the kiss and the embrace. We ate, we discussed, sat in silence, listened to music, then laid down.

Today I had my dog’s annual birthday party; he and I spoke earlier in the day despite our “break-up” status. Low and behold, this evening, his tall ass stooped into my door with Star Wars themed dog presents in hand.

Man, that guy is an asshole, but just like he said… at least he came. He’s in love with me, and he’s terrified to realize that.  A realization for the distance.☝🏼️☝🏼 That is the beauty of vulnerability. Sometimes it pays off. 

I am glad I had the confidence and the balls to handle the situation. I think it took some guts to do what I did. I will be there for you through and through and I won’t let you go at this alone. Your heart is my heart. “I feel what you feel”. 

He told me that tonight. That he feels and hurts when I do. Sure. It’s cheesy, but I can’t imagine a man like him having any tact for relationships. His knowledge of them minimal, probably unwittingly quoted from a past film. That being said I do recognize the significance of everything he admitted. He told me with that tentative expression, “I would be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for you.”

So I suppose I am moved by his actions, his recognition of an emotion he hasn’t put his finger on.✋🏼✋🏼 I am relieved mostly, to know that my reputation as a proud strong woman rings true and he believes in me for who I really am. That is what my life’s worth of integrity provides. Faith.

This life. This life will have no obstacle we cannot overcome. There will be no stress of the people’s usual life struggle. I could set him free. His own strength could carry him far, once he realizes there are no bars keeping him from living dreams. That’s what we will do. I will be at his side, trusting that my friend will be there with me 🐾🐾 Just like a family. A team.

I am very happy.

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