Entry 15: The Attack of Limbo

diary

I’m sensing a little tension behind those eyes… You must need to say something. Something you need to say?

I’m not sure. I think I am at my worst when in limbo. And who isn’t?

What a terrible place to be. Maybe you need to brainstorm how to avoid limbo, because when you’re there, you seem to frown more, you’re more negative, 😒😒😒 you’re indecisive, intolerant, and anxious. Very bad mixture there.

Now, self soothe. Put yourself in a place, where only you are the creator. Listen. Walk, walk far, you hear the birds chirping, you hear the lava bubble. That lava bubbles in your chest, not into a pop, but as a thick mass of liquid substance, it spills from your heart churning. You breath and the lava fills your lungs so thick, breathing is an impossibility, but still you sit there, bodily functions still functioning away.

You’re thinking more complex than you need to. Nobody is as complex. You’re not satisfied, but you keep telling yourself you are. That gap and void is what keeps you stuck in limbo. Only a concrete decision will free you. A walling off of the mind, you need to put a wall up to prevent limbo. Stop torturing yourself by venturing there. Why do you call if it only disappoints you?

Habit. A habit that felt so good you let go and continued without thinking, but now you’re back to square one and you need to think again. Notice what you’re doing, and stop yourself from doing it. You’re more prone to attack in limbo because you cannot visualize where you are.

Leave this place.

Gain your power back, no one took it from you. It’s sitting outside your metaphorical lava, just waiting for you to pick it up. You feel angry. You feel enraged. You feel like what you’re doing is an ultimate waste of minutes. You can’t count on anybody but yourself.
And that’s okay. The same rule applies to everyone. (Hence why it’s a problem.)

Draw your anger so you can see it. You’ll spend so much time preparing to see your anger, when you’re done you won’t be anymore… Release yourself from your torture, conquer your limbo, train yourself to exist in all worlds. Keep your entrapment at bay. Give yourself your purpose back.

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